


Almost

by Ididntsignupforthisshit (myhamartia)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: :))))), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, I gave Hunk Problems and then I smoothed them over with love and a boyfriend, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Valentines Exchange 2K18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-18 21:52:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13690569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myhamartia/pseuds/Ididntsignupforthisshit
Summary: As Hunk held their new born baby girl, he found that some almosts were worth waiting for.





	Almost

**Author's Note:**

  * For [datekogyo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/datekogyo/gifts).



> Valentines gift exchange for my friend Bobbo!!
> 
> prompt: I love love love any kinds of aus, specifically aus with a darker tone to it like idk smoking or drugs or whatever
> 
> I took that and gave Hunk a sorta-shitty home life and lots of internalized homophobia. Uhm.
> 
> but also a happy ending!!
> 
> loooveee you bob hope you like this <3

Hunk realized pretty early on that secret keeping was an essential life skill. It was right above _how to do taxes_ and right under _how to tie your shoes_. Which meant that how to “tie your shoes” and “how to do federal taxes” were within a space of each other.

It was a list, but you learned to roll with the punches. ( _That_ skill was right above _learning how to cook_ and just below _knowing how to change the batteries in a remote control_.)

In Hunk’s life there were tons of secrets. Almost daily new ones were shoveled onto the old, heaping the pile up so far you can barely hold them all in.

Oh well. That’s how it went. You took your secrets and you swallowed them whole and dry. There was no snapping them in half and swirling them around with a mouthful of daddy’s brandy. You stomached them, and you did it alone. To tell would be against the rules.

And there were rules. So many rules.

In the city of Downing, Oklahoma, the population was 90,000. No _big_ city, but it did qualify as a city.

As big as it seemed sometimes, it was stifling. Churches on every street corner. A Mosque was sometimes seen, but at a much less rate.

There were high schools and middle schools. Daycares and preschools housed little minds that were soon to be shaped by the ways of the world. Of their world. Of the little, stifling world that flourished in Downing. Little minds taught by even smaller minds. Funny, that’s how the world worked sometimes.

There was one University in the town. It was small and most said it was half a step above community college. But it was as cheap as colleges went, and it was something to slap on your resume.

While it was no free-thinking atmosphere, it was a little less suffocating than the air at home. People here were _tolerant_. They were the ones that held their tongue when they found something they disliked. They did so under threat of a possible lawsuit, but who’s to complain.

That was another life-skill. You had to know when to bite your tongue. While you’ll taste iron, it will be for the best. It’s better than the heat you’ll feel down your neck, prickling at the hairs of your scalp and filling your stomach with lead. It’s better, sometimes, to hold what you know is right on the inside, instead of spewing it out and giving them a weapon to use against you.

Secrets were a necessity for Hunk. They were necessary, when what you are is something everyone around you despises, spits on for the very pleasure of it.

It was better to pass, than to declare yourself different; he push the down and hold it, biting his tongue until the urge passes.

Sometimes he wonders how something as pure as holding a boy’s hand could be something so rotten. He wondered how something so sweet could leave such a bitter taste in other’s mouths.

His hands shook, body trembled as he considered it. He would think of his father, and how much he would hate Hunk if he found out, how bad his life would be if someone found out about this secret.

He swallowed it down. He grit his teeth to the taste and pushed the urge back. He averted his eyes from the cute boy from service, shut his eyes tight against the temptation. He tried to pray, but couldn’t find it in himself. What was the point in asking forgiveness for something he knew he would indulge in, just given the chance?

He shuddered a sigh and looked down to his knees. His father’s voice filled his ears, his mother shifted beside him.

It was almost over. Almost, almost, almost.

Hunk’s life was a lot of _Almosts_ . Service was almost over. Afterwards, he could lock himself in his room, away from their offending eyes and hurtful words. High school was almost finished. After that, there would be college - a _liberal arts_ college that wasn’t in the freaking Bible Belt for once.

He was almost free of them, his family.

He was almost at the time where he could hold a boy and not feel guilt.

As it was now, the guilt ate at his insides. It made his knees weak and his gut feel tight with discomfort.

He shook his head to displace his train of thought. That wasn’t for now. Box it, shove it. Don’t think about it.

* * *

 

The first time Hunk kissed a boy, he was 20 years old.

His name was Keith, he was handsome, with dark hair that dipped in front of his eyes. One of his upper front teeth was chipped from a parkour move gone wrong - it gave him the tendency to suck on his teeth when he was lost in thought.

Hunk had known him for a year and a half, from the time when Keith transferred into Hunk’s college. Keith had been integrated into Hunk’s friend group when Lance, Hunk’s best friend burst into their meet-up with Keith in tow. They shared a physics class together. From that day on, Keith was pretty much stuck with them.

Hunk tried to deny his feelings for Keith through the months, but that was getting increasingly difficult. Hunk would think of his parents, his church, every time the thought would cross his mind. He wanted to reach out, to trail his fingers over Keith’s jaw and draw him into sweet kisses. But nevertheless what he wanted, he tried to stamp that part of himself down.

He often wondered if Keith ever had the same problems.

As it turned out, he didn’t. At least… not that last part.

Keith was the one to corner him. In a deserted hallway outside of the cafeteria, Hunk found himself pressed against a divider between two windows with Keith leaning up to kiss him. He was up on his tip toes, his hands holding Hunk’s sides, rubbing soft little circles into the sides of his belly.

Hunk sighed a shuddering breath as Keith pulled back. He desperately wanted him back.

Keith just grinned at him. “Good?” he asked, his head tilting the tiniest bit.

Hunk couldn’t find the words. He nodded his head and let himself feel the moment, to enjoy the fleeting feeling of Keith’s mouth against his.

“Maybe now you won’t be scared of kissing me, now.”

And with the cryptic statement, Keith pressed one last kiss to the corner of Hunk’s jaw before he was making his way back down the hall, a skip in his step.

Hunk’s knees felt weak and his chest felt tight. In a good way.

_In such a freaking good way._

* * *

 

Hunk decided that something that felt so good and right couldn’t possibly be as wrong as he was told.

His mind flitted with whispers, telling of _Satan’s temptation_ , but he took a turn and decided to start shutting _those_ thoughts out. It wasn’t easy. Some days it made him feel awful and disgusting for believing such a thing, but he had people to help him power through it all. He had his friends, who he knew were going to be there to the very end. He had Keith, his boyfriend.

That’s right.

 _Boyfriend_.

That was something Hunk hadn’t written home about.

He almost felt bad, withholding a detail so amazing from his family – especially when all he wanted to do sometimes was just talk about how utterly amazing his boyfriend was, but he knew it was best in the end.

There were some secrets that needed kept – at least for a little while. Keith understood, told him to take his time. There was no rush.

He would tell his parents eventually. He decided to do it after college.

Two more years, one more year. Almost there.

* * *

 

Hunk came out to his parents a year after college. He made a special trip just so it could happen face-to-face.

Keith kissed him goodbye at the airport, muttering “I love you” against his mouth just before he boarded the plane.

Hunk’s stomach was so filled with nerves that he couldn’t say it back.

When it happened, his father wouldn’t even look at him. His mother insisted that they get him help. She asked if he had prayed about it at all.

He refused the “help.” He told them that he hadn’t prayed since his third year of high school. Devastation was in their eyes, and daggers were on their tongues.

He boarded another plane that night. He arrived at their little apartment at three in the morning. He accidentally woke Keith up when he opened the door; the man had fallen asleep on the sofa.

He stayed up and listened to Hunk talk as he reheated baked chicken in little Tupperware containers.

Through the hurt and the devastation, Hunk had never loved Keith more in that moment. He supported Hunk through everything, let him cry on his shoulder, and told him that he loved him, that he was valid and perfect in every way.

They slept on the sofa and Hunk woke up with a crick in his neck.

* * *

 

His mother came around. Eventually. It took a lot of work, and a lot of talks, and time. She said that she still loved him – would _always_ love him, even if she didn’t understand this, or how he felt. His father remained stubborn. Hunk hadn’t talked to him since that night.

She came to the wedding, five years later. She talked Hunk through his nerves and held his hand. “Almost there,” she promised him.

“I’m scared,” he confessed in a breath as he dragged his hands down his cheeks. He was many things in that moment. Scared. Nervous and on the brink of vomiting. Excited. Anxious. Anxious to see the man he would soon call husband.

“I know.” She patted his hand and pulled him in for a tight hug. “It’ll be wonderful,” she promised. “You’ll cry, I know you will. And that’s okay. It’s good. This is a good thing.”

He nodded and tried to blink through the tears that began to well up. He hugged her and tried to get his emotions under control.

Keith was beautiful, walking down the aisle. Hunk did indeed cry, during the ceremony, and at the reception – and that was okay. Keith kissed him and they cried together. Hunk was so overwhelmed with the love he felt for this man.

* * *

 

Their baby came into the world on a Tuesday.

Their surrogate, Allura, was the calmest one during the whole procedure. Keith was pacing back and forth in the room, asking about her contractions, and how she was feeling, how was the epidural…

She inspected her nails. “Oh, it’s quite fine,” she said with a shrug. “Do be calm, Keith. You don’t want to stress out the baby.”

Hunk wasn’t any better. He had to step outside for a fine few minutes – once to excuse himself to the bathroom (sick leave) and another simply because he couldn’t _take it_.

Eventually he and his husband were asked out to the waiting room.

“Everything is going according to schedule and she’s just now going into labor,” the nurse assured them chipperly.

Hunk’s hands were vibrating. “Should we be in there?”

Keith laughed. “I’m gonna fucking explode,” he ground out. “It’s so fucking _stressful_.”

He placed a hand on Keith’s knee. For reassurance. Definitely not to stop the trembling.

The nurse smiled kindly. “Almost there, Dads,” she told them, smiling brightly.

Almost.

_Gah!_

Later, as Hunk held their new born baby girl, he found that some “almosts” were worth waiting for.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://goddammitlance.tumblr.com)
> 
>  
> 
> ALSO THANK YOU TO TEKI FOR BETA'ING THIS IM LOVE YOU YOU'RE AMAZING <3


End file.
